Writing you own Wedding Vow

A friend of mine, Laverne Chee is the founder of The Wedding Project, lashes out a piece of good idea to make your big day, a special day to remember for life ...

Penning your own wedding vows is no easy task — it’s like writing poetry, public speaking and having the deepest conversation of your life all at once. Putting your promises on paper is an emotional, eye-opening and often extremely memorable experience. Up for the challenge? Here’s the homework you need to do (and the questions you should ask) to make your vows perfect.

   Get Clearance

Make sure your ceremony officiant will actually allow personalized vows. Certain celebrants and houses of worship may require you to recite a specific set of traditional vows. And remember: Even some of the most accommodating officiants will want to review your words in advance.

   Start Early

We can’t say this enough: Don’t leave writing your vows until the day before the wedding! You’ll be too nervous, excited and rattled to give them the time and thought they deserve. Give yourselves at least a month, or work on your vows in that pocket of time after you’ve set up all your major vendors and before you have to start thinking about the details. Vow writing should be done in a relaxed, not rushed, frame of mind. Some loose deadlines to aim for: Try to get a first draft together about three weeks before the wedding and have your final version completed at least two days out.

   Look to Tradition

To get inspired, start by reading traditional, by-the-book vows — from your own religion, if you practice a certain faith, but others, as well — to see what strikes a chord with you. You can incorporate these into the original words you write, or simply use them as a jumping-off point to base your personalized vows on.

   Set the Tone

Before putting pen to paper, decide what overall tone you want to achieve. Humorous but touching? Poetic and romantic? It’s your call — the most important thing is that your vows ring true and sound like they’re from your heart. One word of advice: While your vows can be lighthearted (or even hilarious), they should, in some way, acknowledge the seriousness of the commitment you’re about to make. One way to do that is to weave little jokes into traditional vows (for example: “I promise to love you, cherish you and always watch Monday Night Football with you”).

   Figure Out the Logistics

Make sure you and your fiance are both on the same page. Are you each going to write your own vows, or will you write them together? If you’re writing them separately, will you want to run them by each other before the wedding? If you’re writing them together, will they be completely different for each of you, or will you recite some of the same words and make the same promises to each other, as you would with traditional vows? If you want them to be a surprise on your wedding day, make sure you both send a copy of what you’ve written to your officiant or to one friend or family member so they can check that your vows are about the same length and similar in tone.

   Make a Vow Date

When it’s time to come up with the actual content of your vows, go out to dinner or set aside an evening at home to brainstorm. Talk about your relationship and what marriage means to each of you. Discuss what you expect from each other and the relationship. What are you most looking forward to about married life? Why did you decide to get married? What hard times have you gone through together? What have you supported each other through? What challenges do you envision in your future? What do you want to accomplish together? What makes your relationship tick? Answering these questions will help you make and keep your promises, and talking about your bond may expose your inner Wordsworth and help you come up with phrases and stories you can incorporate into your vows. 

   Schedule Some Alone Time

After chatting with your future spouse, take some self-reflection time to think about how you feel about your partner. What did you think when you first saw them? When did you realize you were in love? What do you most respect about your partner? How has your life gotten better since meeting your mate? What about them inspires you? What do you miss most about them when you’re apart? What qualities do you most admire in each other? What do you have now that you didn’t have before you met? You may be surprised how these answers may lead you to the perfect words.

   Steal Ideas

Borrow freely from poetry, books, religious and spiritual texts — even from romantic movies. Jot down words and phrases that capture your feelings. Widely recognized works ring true for a reason.

   Create an Outline

An outline can get you started by helping to establish a structure. For example, plan to first talk about how great your fiance is and then about how you work together as a couple; pause to quote your favorite writer and then go into your promises to each other.

   Remember Your Audience

Don’t make your vows so personal that they’re cryptic — or embarrassing! You’ve invited your family and friends to witness your vows in order to make your bond public, so be sure everyone feels included in the moment. That means putting a limit on inside jokes, deeply personal anecdotes and obscure nicknames or code words. 

   Time It Right

Don’t make them too long — aim for about one minute or so (it’s longer than it sounds!). Your vows are the most important element of your ceremony, but that doesn’t mean they should go on for hours. Get at the heart of what marrying this person means to you with your vows; pick the most important points and make them well. Save some thoughts for the reception toasts — and for the wedding night.

   Practice Out Loud (Seriously!)

These are words meant to be heard by a live audience, so check that they sound good when spoken. Read your vows out loud to make sure they flow easily. Watch out for tongue twisters and super-long sentences — you don’t want to get out of breath or stumble.

Laverne is ready to help couples plan their wedding and make them memorable. Get in touch with her for more information, www.theweddingproject.my

Beautiful thoughts from my heart ...

What makes me happy is to experience the joyous environment when I get the bride ready for her special day.
















Wishing you a Happy Journey and Blissful Marriage ahead ...

















Picture Courtesy from my client
See Wei Bee.

Planning make-up for your wedding day

Although planning a wedding may be exciting and fun, it can also be very overwhelming and even a little scary. I am sure you have covered every single item hundreds of times from your venue, the photographer, your beautiful dress, food, flowers, etc all these things add up to the perfection of the big day. Have you thought about your make-up and why you need a make-up artist on your special day?

Choosing the right make-up artist is also very important someone who will listen to you, someone who has been working in the wedding industry who understands the pressure of dealing with emotions running wild on that day.

Your make-up is as important as the choice of gown, accessories, and your hair as they go hand in hand, the one cannot go without the other. All that you have left of the day are the memories and photos and I am sure you want them to be as perfect as the day was.

I personally always recommend a trial so that there are no surprises on the wedding day. This will give you an idea to chat with your make-up artist and show her your ideas, theme if there is one, colours of bridesmaids dresses, flowers etc. These all aids in the design of your make-up. You will also be able to wear the make-up for the day to see how it holds or if you re-act to any products which you can discuss with your make-up artist and make changes before the big day.

Make-up should only enhance you and since you are going to be photographed / or videotaped you want to make sure you look good. Make-up will help with that since the lighting / flash of the camera tends to wash people out. Make-up artist use photochromic make-up to ensure you achieve true colours in the photographs and videos, this will ensure that you will not have a ghostlike appearance on your photos.

Till our next chat.

Articles by Cicilia Kaufmann of ckmakeup.com
Photo curtesy by Cicilia Kaufman

A day in a life of a Bridal Makeup Artist

3.00am
Buzzzzzzzz..... The alarm clock blares off! Ahhh... I need a just a little more time to myself so I snooze off for another 5 minutes. Grrriiinnnnnggggg.... Thank God I have another alarm that is near the toilet. It sorts of forces me out of my bed and to the toilet to start my day. I am not gonna tell you what I do here...


3.15am
My morning devotion. I thank the Lord for this happy day to look forward to, another beautiful face to smile upon. I ask the Lord to guide me to a safe journey for my work early this morning. I ask the Lord for a smooth sailing day today.



3.40am
Preparing my healthy breakfast. Easy to prepare, healthy and my favourite. A palmful of oats cooked with milk and add in honey in my favourite green bowl. A warm milo in my favourite cup. Pop in a tablet of multi-vitamin for some positive boost of energy.


4.00am
Time for me to look beautiful. Slap on some simple makeup, tidy up my hair. dress up. Time for me to do the final check to make sure that I have not forgotten any single thing. Load the makeup cases to the car.



4.20am
Got my map ready (printed out from Google maps a few days before), set address to my GPS, got my car warm up and say a little prayer. Then I sms to my client to give her a morning call and to wish her good morning. Turned on the radio. I love to start my day with a song in my heart. Took a slow drive, with a thanksgiving heart for a smooth day.


4.50am
Reached the brides house. No problem in looking for her house. Waited at the car till 5.00am.


5.00am
Greet the bride and set up my makeup tools. My mission to make her the most beautiful bride begins ...


5.15am
Prep her skin, getting her ready for makeup. Before that, I have got her permission to take her picture before the makeover. She gladly oblidge to my request. Thank you so much, Xing Huiy.



















7.45am
She is all set, makeup and hair done up. She is looking so radiant and excited waiting for her husband to be to greet her.

Hiring a Professional Makeup Artist

If the idea of putting on eyeliner makes your hand shake, you may want to hire a pro to do your makeup. Here's how.

If you're not much of a makeup person -- and even if you are -- you should think about hiring a makeup artist for your wedding day. A pro can give you picture-appropriate makeup that stays put. Here are some tips for seeking out someone to help you look big-day beautiful.

Finding One

• Ask your friends. Nothing beats word of mouth when it comes to finding true talent, especially in the world of weddings. Get recommendations from your friends especially those who has just recently got married. If you like her look on her wedding day, you should try to contact her makeup artist.
  
• Check out department stores. Talk to beauty consultants at cosmetics counters and pay attention to how their own makeup looks; let the ones you feel comfortable with give you a makeover (it's free!). Explain that you're shopping for your wedding-day face, and if you're happy with the results, ask if they make house calls or if they'll schedule time for you to come to the store the day of your wedding.
• Search from the net to get names of makeup artists in your area. Or make a list of beauty salons and call around to see if they offer makeup services.
• Ask your photographer. Most photographers have worked with makeup artists and can recommend some good ones.
• Be sure to check out their portfolios and their past credentials. Those with wider experiences are definitely far better than those newcomers in the market (as they tend to take you as a guinea pig while gaining experience).
  

Working With One

• Insist on a trial makeup. Keep in mind that your wedding is not the time to start experimenting. Trial makeups allow you to first test out the makeup artist, second to discuss the idea of look you want for your wedding. The makeup artist may even suggest a few other ideas (from his/her professional perspective) that you may want to try out too.
• Arrange to go for the trial makeup with a girlfriend of yours, so that she can give you an honest opinion.
  
• Collect pictures from magazines to show the makeup artist so he or she can get an idea of the look you're going for.
  
• Schedule trial runs before your prewedding parties or other special events (friends' weddings, class reunions, etc.). Some makeup artists do charge you for these practice sessions -- so find a crowd to wow!
• Take a close look at yourself a few hours after a trial makeover to check how the makeup wears on your skin. Does it last or fade away? Note any color changes or allergic reactions. Report to him/her the next day itself so that the makeup artist will have some time to find solution to your problems.
  
• Find out if the makeup artists charge a higher fee to come to your home. See if they also expect you to pay their travel expenses. Check out other hidden expenses too (don't be shy to ask the makeup artist).
  
• Finally, plan with the makeup artist on the program for your wedding day.
  

Tips : After each makeover, have someone take your picture. What looks great in the mirror doesn't always look right on film, and vice-versa. The photographs will also help you remember what you liked -- and didn't like -- about each application.

Wedding Photo Tips

Weddings provide plenty of opportunities for candid moments. Here are some ways you can get great shots of this special day.

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Be Creative with a Tilt

Photo by Leslie Patopoff

For this image the photographer tilted the camera to put the focus on the little boy being led by his sister. By not showing much of the sister, Leslie avoided pulling attention from the main subject.

Start Early

Photo by Heather Melzer

Some of the best shots come before an event even starts. For weddings, shooting the bridal party’s preparation, as in this photo, can yield both fun and meaningful photos.

Watch for Unplanned Shots

Photo by Jen Lessinger

Be on the lookout for unexpected moments during an event. Here, the photographer caught interaction between the bride’s and groom’s fathers, who were oblivious to her as they chatted.

Capture Candids

Designed by Christina Schmidhofer

Keep your camera clicking to document the unplanned moments. Guests and kids especially are enjoying the day, and you'll get some extra special shots with minimum effort.

Be In Position


Photo by Greg Scheidemann

Be sure to capture the happy couple as they make their grand entrance. Find out where they will be entering the reception site and position yourself so you can get a clear shot of the smiling couple.

Chinese Tradition of Tea Ceremony

In this modern times, the tea ceremony has become the most significant event everyone (including the old relatives) is looking forward to. The bride and groom are formally introduced to each other's family through the tea ceremony, which is carried through on the wedding day itself.

Normally, tea is boiled with dried longan, lotus seeds, red dates and is lightly sweetened. Lotus seeds and two red dates are used in the tea for two reasons. First, the words “lotus” and “year,” “seed” and “child,” and “date” and “early,” are homophones, i.e. they have the same sound but different meanings in Chinese. Secondly, the ancient Chinese believed that putting these items in the tea would help the newlyweds produce children early in their marriage and every year, which would ensure many grandchildren for their parents. Also, the sweetness of the special tea is a wish for sweet relations between the bride and her new family.

Serving the Tea:

On the wedding day, the bride serves tea (holding the teacup with both hands) to her parents at home before the groom arrives. She does this as a gesture of respect and to thank her parents for raising her. The tea at this time does not need to have the lotus seeds or dates. She pours and serves the tea before the groom arrives. During this time, the parents usually gives her their precious advice preparing her into her new life. Most often, this may get a little emotional.

Traditionally, after picking up the bride from her parents and the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds serve tea (holding the teacups with both hands), inviting the groom's elders to drink tea by addressing them by formal title, e.g. first uncle or third aunt.

The general rule is to have the woman on the left side and the man on the right side. The people being served will sit in chairs, while the bride and groom kneel. For example, when the newlyweds serve tea to the groom’s parents, the bride would kneel in front of her father-in-law, while the groom would kneels in front of his mother.

The newlyweds serve tea in order, starting with the groom’s parents then proceeding from the oldest family members to the youngest, e.g. the groom’s parents, then his paternal grandparents, then his maternal grandparents, then his oldest uncles and aunts, and all the way to his older brother.

For more information about Chinese Traditional Wedding, visit http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com, a website dedicated to preserving chinese wedding customs and culture.

Something old, Something new, Something borrowed & Something blue...

Ever wonder what does something new, something old, something borrowed and something blue means? It is a tradition back then during the Victorian age, where all well wishers grant the bride good luck and longevity in her marriage. The phrase of the poem goes like this :

Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue
And a silver sixpence in her shoe.

Each item in this poem represents a good-luck token for the bride. If she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy. "Something old" symbolizes continuity with the bride's family and the past. "Something new" means optimism and hope for the bride's new life ahead. "Something borrowed" signifies the transfer of happiness from a happily married woman to the new bride, which is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member. The borrowed item also reminds the bride that she can depend on her friends and family. "Something blue" symbolizes love, purity and fidelity.

Here are some thoughts on finding meaningful objects to fulfill this tradition.

For "Something old", get something you treasure before you decide to get married. It could be anything from your old precious diary, your childhood photos with your girlfriends or even your baby boots from your mom's collection. Get "Something new" for yourself that you have intended to wear after your wedding, perhaps a beach wear for your honeymoon or a gift for your new husband to be.

The tricky part is "Something borrowed". This could be an item of jewelry, a hair ornament, a lacy handkerchief or some other suitable accessory. By tradition, a bride borrows an item from a happily married friend, relative or someone you love - ideally, something that the lender wore at her own wedding. Ask them tactfully, make it clear that you aren't expecting to keep the item, that you will take good care of it, and that it would mean a lot to you to be able to wear something connected with the lender on your wedding day. I am sure, she would feel honored to grant you something that you see value in.

Get creative when it comes to "Something blue". To make sure that it doesn't clash with your bridal gown, go for something that reveals a little or perhaps gives a little hint of something blue underneath your bridal gown, such as a lace blue-trimmed garter, a blue lingerie, a blue topaz or rhinestone pin attached to the cleavage of your gown, or you could paint your toenails blue.